In one way or another, we are searching for something: true love, a good job, a better home, etc., but along the way I suppose that we lose sight of what we should be looking for....a closer relationship to God. I know that you're probably thinking, "Amanda, seriously.....YOU?? talking about God?", but you know, throughout my life, regardless of what I have done and said, God was always there, never judging me even when those around me either deserted me, ignored me, or just looked at me with disregard. No matter.....although at the time I couldn't or wouldn't see it, God was there....waiting, just waiting. He never left my side, although I have given him plenty of reason, He never did. Patience has never been one of my virtues, by any means of the imagination, but wow, if I could just have the patience that God has had with me, my possibilities would be endless.
Today's world demands that we cater to OUR desires, OUR wants, and OUR needs, with little or no thought to the person next to us, in front of us, or behind us. I have been guilty so many times of seeing someone in need and thinking to myself, "Let someone else help them". Those of your who know me know how compassionate i am, and if you don't, well, I am so compassionate that when I watch a commerical on TV for feed the children or the ASPCA, I break out into tears...ask my son, he'll tell you..:) But you know what? God made me that way...He knows that if I can help someone, I will do it in a heartbeat. The kids that go to school with my son and who see me at a ballgame and that always gives me a hug, those kids are my heart...I love each and everyone of them so much and to know how much potential each one has, just waiting for a chance to shine, well, it makes me smile!
Now, this part may seem strange to you, but bear with me, ok? Trials and tribulations are good things. Yes, that's what I said....trials and tribulations are good things. Why? Because guess who will always be there when you need them and when no one else is............God!!! The flesh will tell you that you need to solve your problem anyway possible, regardless of the result, but God doesn't work like that....He wants us to lean on Him and not allow the world dictate to us how to handle our problems. Besides, when we try to solve our own problems, usually all you are accomplishing, is making the problem worse, without achieving the result you were looking for in the first place. Funny, isn't it.....that when you are experiencing a problem that you just cannot seem to handle or that you don't foresee having a positive result, God is right there, waiting..........waiting for you to allow God to enter into you heart, your life, your mind and let Him guide you and help you through your most difficult times.
I can't do everything on my own and to this day, I try to do everything on my own, but I'm learning to let some things go and let God handle them. I know that this will take time, but I have to depend on God and less on myself. Now, once I allow God to enter into my heart, my life, my thoughts, etc., things begin to change and I'm not so tempted to let the world dictate to me what I should be doing, or how I should be dressing, or even how I should be thinking, as that way of life doesn't matter anymore, only that I allow God to be the biggest part of my day and that others can see Him living through me.
There will be times when, yes, I will stumble along the way, but when that occurs, I need to get up, brush myself off, pray to God for thankfulness for His mercy and grace, as He knows that times like that will happen. However, I need to remind myself that does not give me a license to just go out and sin anytime that I want to and then come home and repent...no, that's not how it works....you have to constantly be aware of the temptations around you and avoid them...if you are trying to quit drinking, stay away from the bars and clubs, if you are trying to quit using drugs, quit hanging around people who you know use them; the list goes on, but sometimes it takes common sense as well to know where you do and don't need to be.....advice that I've always know, but seldom ever used.
The journey begins with the first step and I know that by allowing God to take over in the driver's seat and let Him be in charge, that although there will still be challenges and obstacles, as Him as my guide, I can rest assure that everything will be okay in the end.
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